Good early morning beautiful humans. It is currently 4 a.m. and one of my neighbors just left their house, which is sounds crazy to me, but I know Brandon will be getting up soon and I just don’t know how he does it. So, why am I awake at 4 a.m.? More importantly, why have I been up since 2 a.m.?

I fell asleep on the couch at around 8:30 p.m. while watching tv with Brandon, he woke me up when he was going to be, I have no idea what time that was, and we went to bed together. Which is actually perfect and I got a solid 3 hrs of sleep (according to my fitness watch). I remember the very and cozy moment cuddling with the window opened and the midnight chilliness, right before I had to go pee.

Now, here we are. Two hours later, no sleep, several random YouTube videos, and a headache I am pretty sure comes from dehydration. Here is a YouTube channel I highly recommend: Struthless. Lots of honesty and life exploration and self discovery. Philosophy, art, coffee, and if you add Brandon that’s pretty much my life. Go give it a watch.

Anyhow, do you remember back when you were a teenager and everyone romanticized 3 a.m. conversations with your crush? No? Maybe that was just a me thing. Anyhow, late night (like past your bed time to the point where you are really tired) conversations are really interesting because people become really honest. In my experience, which is oddly not so limited, 3 a.m. conversations are like talking to that person that becomes very honest and sentimental when drunk. Everyone is a philosopher at 3 a.m., so here is a bit of my philosophy.

I was going to make rice crispy treats but given that my well rested self is already clumsy enough, we are going to assume this is better.

I wanted to do string of consciousness writing and just let philosophy come out of me, but I can’t stop thinking about chicken pot pie. I have been meaning to learn how to make chicken pot pie because I have never tried it before, but have this image on my head about how delicious it will be, that I have decided to add chicken pot pie to my bucket list.

I know that I could just go to a restaurant and buy chicken pot pie and try it out, but there is something in the anticipation and the fear that I will be disappointed, that I would just live in this dreamy world of perfectly delicious chicken pot pie, until I am ready to do it myself.

According to Brandon, the most complicated part of chicken pot pie is knowing when to eat it. If you wait too long it will be too cold and not really good, but too early and you burn yourself.

And isn’t that just, but at the same time not? Like, there’s times in life when you just sit there waiting for the perfect moment to eat chicken pot pie just to realize that any moment in your life would have been perfect for that and now you have just been wasting time waiting. But other times, you really want to make rice crispy treats at 4 a.m. when you are too tired and shouldn’t be trusted around flames, so you have to wait. Not for the perfect moment, but the right one. Either because you don’t have the knowledge, or time, or resources, or head space, or whatever it is. Some times you have to wait. Because if you eat that chicken pot pie too early, when it just came out of the oven, you will burn yourself and you won’t be able to taste anything for the next two weeks.

And now I am hungry. Sorry for that. It is now 5:30 a.m. and I am seriously debating whether or not I should make coffee. Is it too early? I bet my mom is waking up right now, getting ready to make breakfast. I’ll never understand how she does it.

And now that Brandon is showering, I think it is time to go (hopefully to sleep). Consider this our 3 a.m. bonding conversation. I love you and hope the rest of your day is awesome, don’t forget to share your love with everyone around you and do something that makes you happy!

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