Well, it was my birthday but you get the idea
Every year for my birthday I make a list of goals, projects, aspirations and wishes I want for the next year. Like New Year's resolutions but they are fun things I want for myself on my personal new year. I haven't finished the list for this year yet, but I already have multiple long-term projects I am really excited to do (and talk about).
The project I am the most excited about is going through a book called "The Nature of Play" by Delfina Aguilar and Clare Aitken, which has recipes, games, crafts and even book recommendations to enjoy every season. I think it will be a great way to learn to enjoy every part of the year for what it has to offer instead wishing it away and waiting for what's next. There are some activities I'll be doing with my son, and some that I will be doing on my own. In fact, I already did the first suggested fall activity which was to plant bulbs. I planted 70 bulbs; 40 tulips and 30 daffodiles, in variety of colors.
I spent about two hours clearing the area in the garden where I wanted to plant the bulbs and making all 70 little holes for each one of them. I was exhausted by the time I got done, but it was the good kind of tired that makes you proud of what you've accomplished. It felt so good to be in the fresh air for that long and just work with the dirt, and smell the fall, and feel the sun battling with the chill of the wind to keep me warm.
I can already imagine what 70 bulbs will look like in the early spring, and while writing this I am feeling that I-can't-wait-for-it-to-happen sort of excitement, but the bulbs won't sprout any faster just because I wish they would. That same excitement brings me back to thinking about this book and the reason why I want to complete all the activities on it; I want to appreciate each season instead of trying to skip it. I think it has probably happened to all of us that we are in the middle of summer, in the heat of it all, wishing for the weather to cool down. Then suddenly it is the winter and we are wishing for summer again. I feel like I've gone through that every year since moving to Iowa. In Guatemala the weather is mostly the same throughout the year, and I only remember wishing for school break rather than specific weather, so now I have to learn to enjoy the different seasons and not just go through them.
I am imagining all the bulbs in their holes, covered by fresh dirt and compost, settling in and growing roots, and I can't help but draw a connection to my own creative practice and think about all the work that gets done "behind the scenes". Even writing this short essay takes planning and drafting and correcting. Some of why I lost the joy of sharing on social media and why I think generative AI is so not-human, is this notion that having a perfect finish product matters more than the process itself. And I'm not saying you don't get or shouldn't get joy out of having a finished product, what I am trying to say is that our human experience is in the processes. In the being there and doing the thing.
A while back I was listening to an episode of "Creative Pep talk" a podcast by Andy J. Pizza, where he was talking about building habits, and he said how he had always wanted to be the person who could say "I workout everyday" until he realized that in order to be a person who works out everyday, he actually had to work out everyday. It sounds obvious but I know in my own experience of wanting to be a writer, I thought having a BA in writing or publishing a book was what made me a writer, but as I try to figure a way to make a living out of my creativity, I've realized that the act of writing is what makes me a writer. The process of writing in itself is something that I love doing, it's why Ive kept journals for the last 10 years, even when I don't share what I write, there is something so satisfying and enjoyable about putting my thoughts into words.
In that same way, I love gardening. While there is great reward in seeing so many pretty flowers outside my widow and seeing all the wildlife that takes resident in our garden, I love the act of gardening. I love being outside with the dirt and the plants. Unfortunately I don't have as much time as I wish I did for gardening, so this year I had to downsize the garden significantly, but I will continue to enjoy being a gardener for as long as my body allows it.
So for my 31st year of life I want my motto to be "enjoy the process" whether that is baking a cake or crocheting a sweater for my son or planting bulbs.
